Your consoles are mocking you

This is something funny I thought about as I was ignoring E3 so it's a little late but some comedy and truth will be there no matter what. Trust me your console's are mocking you in one way or another, this will touch on portable as well. so lets break these down.

Sony:
Playstation 3: What you own me without an HD TV..? -chuckles- thats fine but I am going to cut the edges of the game off so be prepared to die, from the now hidden sniper.
PSP: the Vita was announced..no one cares about me much any more. Also you bought a Go why..? Did you enjoy re-buying all your games..??

Microsoft:
X-box: Wait you don't own a connect!!??!! Why arew you just stupid just think of all the fun you can have jumping around your room like an idiot. What your have a leg or back issues, then just die since you can't enjoy me. Also I have voice support, watch me kill you as you tell your mom you want lunch.
Portable: hahahaha you can't take a connect on the go..dumb ass.. =P

Nintendo:
Wii: do you have kids..? No.. Do you have 3 other friends..? No.. Then why did you buy me??!!?? To play old school downloads games..You know you can just emulate those on the pc you have already..

WiiU: I have a big brick controller..but only one of it can be used at a time..so remember to beat up your friends so you can use it..

3DS: Hi I price dropped in under 6months by A LOT!! Since my 3d hurts peoples eye and I had shitty launch titles..I should of launched with Ocrina of Time, I know that no. Please love me..please...

See your consoles are all laughing at you or just depressed..so go smack your console or give them a hug.